I seem to make my dates feel uh… ya know… too fat or uh… I might talk too much about the way their voices sound a little uh… “un manly “ or whatever… and then as soon as we start talking about dick size, poof! It’s like they suddenly feel totally inadequate and all self conscious or whatever. Just know that even tho ur ugly and you’re never allowed to touch me, that I’ll always stick with you no matter how brain damaged you get, ok sweetie? Let’s make this the best first date ever… let’s make it super expensive and fun! Send me some cash and stay home just jerking it to my pictures!
