Did you know that masturbation is a sin? It is. And that’s only the first of the sins you’ll commit for me today. Place one hand on your bible and the other on your cock. What’s the third commandment? Thou shalt not take the lord’s name in vain. But thou shall do exactly that, with the enthusiasm of a good little Christian boy tempted away from the path of righteousness. You will defile your god. You will be seduced into uttering the most sinful words possible as you jerk yourself into oblivion.
