Goodness son, you’ve been sick with this flu for over a week! Your fever hasn’t budged and the doctor said if you don’t start getting better soon you’ll need to spend time in the hospital. I have a forbidden treatment that I save for only the worst illnesses. It’s a pill that makes your brain and body perform only its most basic functions so your immune system can focus on eradicating viruses and other bacteria! Your father and I call it the “Zombie Pill” because it makes you act sort of like a zombie, haha! Hopefully you won’t end up having a horribly painful hard-on like your father did when he took the Zombie Pill! Don’t worry though, if that happens to you I know exactly how to take care of it. Mommy knows best.
