Welcome to the Government Vasectomy Center, Number 312. It’s your lucky day! With the state of pregnancy politics in this country, the government decided that legislation on women’s bodies was too much. It takes a lot of money to control unwanted pregnancies by controlling women’s bodies. It was decided it would be easier to make vasectomies mandatory instead. It’s so much easier to snip a little tube above your testes than it is to do a complete tubal ligation. Don’t worry. You can still have offspring someday. When your future wife decides it’s time to procreate, you can bring her in, and we can get her permission to have your vasectomy reversed. Ready? No? Well, too bad. Your swimmers are about to be floaters.
