We need to talk about when I ran into you at the mall on Saturday. When I said hi to you, you could barely get a word out! You were just stuttering like a total dumbass. As if you didn’t know your intern was so hot? I don’t even know how you got to be the CEO of a company like this, being sooo fucking stupid. My girlfriends and I totally noticed you following us all day — not like you were trying to hide it, anyway. You even followed us into a lingerie store! Sooo obvious. And of course you were staring at my ass and my shoes the whole time, like the gross old perv you are. I thought about maybe going to HR about this and making your work life a living hell, but I thought there was a better way I could have some more fun with it. We’re going to come to an arrangement between the two of us. From now on, you’re going to be my obedient paypig. You’re going to do three things for me
